News & Blog by Nanny Piggins
Read the latest news and bulletins, essays, features, opinions from our bestselling authors. Find out what's being said, debated, and discussed in the world of books and ideas.
Dear Blog Readers, I am afraid Nanny Piggins is unable to write her own blog entry today, because she has been arrested for “borrowing” a bus. Fortunately she was able to send me a coded message in the form of cookies, baked in the shape of letters from the alphabet. (Apparently the Police Sergeant was kind enough to allow her access to the police station oven as well as large amounts of sugar,...
Dear Blog Readers, Well the Big Cheese at Random House called me last night. Apparently my opinions have been too opinionated. So I have been firmly ‘requested’ (publishing-speak for ‘ordered’) to simply post a recipe today. So against my own principles I have attached a recipe below. It is a dangerously delicious one, so if it triggers a world-wide outbreak of obesity, all I can say is “I...
Dear Blog Readers, Well it’s Wednesday. Or as those insensitive to the feelings of camels call it ‘hump day’. It was suggested to me today that I should use this blog to discuss a serious issue. Apparently some people do not feel that my opinions on author’s hair styles are a serious issue. (Which is ridiculous because let me tell you, the only thing standing between Tim Winton and the Nobel...
Dear Blog Readers, Well the pernickety-pants at Random House have insisted that I be less abusive (i.e. less honest) in my blogs from now on. So I apologise in advance if I am boring today. They had the audacity to suggest that instead of complaining about having to write a blog, that I should post one of my many world-beating cake recipes. After I stomped hard on the publicist’s foot for...
Dear Blog Readers, Well, as you can see, those scoundrels at Random House have tricked me into writing their ridiculous blog yet again. (These publishing people are very cunning. They are even more amoral than trapeze artists, and as anyone who has ever been dropped by one of ‘The Flying Yap Brothers’ knows, they haven’t got an honest bone in their bodies. The words “I’ll catch you” mean absolutely...
Dear Blog Readers, Well I have finally reached the end of this long and wearisome week of blog writing. Goodness knows how much weight I have lost during the time I have been forced to spend at the keyboard when I should have been doing something more worthwhile – like eating cake, making cake or making then eating cake. I am still unconvinced about the merits of blogging. It seems to me the...
Dear Blog Readers, I dragged myself out of my sick bed to angrily refute the defamatory accusation printed in this morning’s blog. It is impossible to eat too much cake. Admittedly after 30 or 40 full sized cakes you do start to feel a little uncomfortable in the tummy region. But if you go and put on something with an elasticised waist, then continue eating you will eventually push yourself...
Dear Blog Readers, Well the second instalment of my biography, “Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan” goes on sale tomorrow. I am trying to not to think about it. It worries me just how famous and universally adored I will become. Ever since the first book came out, I have found it hard to walk the streets without being recognized. “Nanny Piggins, is that really you?” strangers ask. “Go...
Dear Blog Readers, Well I have been told by the slave drivers at Random House that complaining about having to write a blog is not a suitable topic for a blog. They suggested that I write about a “serious issue”. But apparently my 2000 word essay on the evils of putting carrot in cake is not a serious issue as far as they are concerned. So they have encouraged me to write about Swine Flu instead. ...
Dear Blog Readers, Well I must admit, I was horrified to discover that R.A. Spratt had “volunteered” me to write a blog. But after I had stamped hard on her foot and chased her around the house several times while trying to bite her leg, R.A. eventually explained to me what a ‘blog’ was. And it turns out that a ‘blog’ isn’t anywhere near as disgusting as the name suggests. I was still...
